United States-The tag of swine flu will stick to pig industry.

UNITED STATES-THE LABEL WILL STICK TO PORK BEING UNSAFE.

Now that we have our faces cloaked in germ-filtering masks and our hands coated in a quarter-inch layer of Purell, perhaps it’s time we recognize that swine flu mania stands to eviscerate the already not-so-charming reputation of the humble swine.

From a porcine public relations standpoint, this virus is nothing short of a crisis.

Who better to call than Glenn Selig, an expert at managing crisis situations and the public relations agent representing former Gov. Rod Blagojevich and former Bolingbrook Police Sgt. Drew Peterson?

He’s just the man for a swine in need.

Noting that hogs "have typically not gotten the greatest of raps," he recommends recruiting one of the few pigs Americans can relate to -- perhaps Wilbur from the book "Charlotte’s Web" or maybe Miss Piggy -- for a public service announcement.

"You can take somebody that people like and have that pig act as a spokesperson," Selig said. "Take someone like Miss Piggy and maybe do some kind of commercial saying, ’We’re getting a bad rap here. There are lots of pigs that are great, and lots of pigs that are good for you. And delicious.’ "

Miss Piggy might not buy into the "delicious" part. But she must recognize the urgency of the situation.

If swine flu persists, there are going to be scores of out-of-work pigs. And what are they supposed to do? Get a reality show?

No self-respecting pig would go that far.